Gunston Dog Lawyers
We Protect Your Pet Fuckin' Dog.
CLIENTS TESTIMONIALS
Don't just take it from us; here are some glowing testimonials from just a handful of our satisfied clients over the years.
My name is Waldo. It's a fuckin' stupid name and I really bloody hate it. Anyway, I was deeply in the shit when my owner called up the Gunstons on that fateful sorry night. I had tried to hold up a liquor store but it just all went horribly wrong on the night. Not one definitive mistake I can put my finger on even now, just a culmination of little errors compounding upon themselves. Back to the drawing board I suppose.
I thoroughly endorse the Gunstons even though I have no idea who the Gunstons are or what is going on here.
My name is Baskerville and I am a serial rapist. What can I say, I just like fucking bitches. Unfortunately I cannot see a goddamned thing. Anyway, long story short, I accidentally raped a barn owl. It was the best 18 seconds of my life. Unfortunately, I then had to spend the next 6 weeks on the lam, on the run from various law enforcement agencies. Once the Gunston legal team got wind of it they sorted the mess out quick-fast. They are the best! Fuck the rest! Go Gunston!
My name is Steve. I was guilty of betting on dogfights. I wanted to go to prison. In there I could've fucked bitches and bet on more dogfights. I would've been the man. But the stupid dickhead Gunstons made the charges go away. GAHH!
What is this shit? Lawyers? All I know is that Gene Gunston clown tried to force his tiny **content deleted due to factual inaccuracy**
My name is Maurice and I am way too cute to go to prison. Call me at 090-443-8290 for a good time. (not you again Gene. Please do not call. Last week was not a good time).